And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be"
Paul McCartney wrote this song, inspired by his mother, Mary who died when he was 14. Many people thought "Mother Mary" was a biblical reference but Paul says no it's "about leaving problems behind and moving on in life".
My two words for this new year 2021 are courage and kindness.
Courage as Henry Van Dyke describes it in "Life":
"So let the way wind up the hill or down,
O'er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy:
Still seeking what I sought when but a [girl],
New friendship, high adventure, and a crown,
My heart will keep the courage of the quest,
And hope the road's last turn will be the best."
Kindness - the kind of kindness that I want to own, is more difficult to describe. Sylvia Plath suggests it's superficial in her poem "Kindness". A week or so after writing it, she committed suicide.
Dame Kindness, she is so nice!
The blue and red jewels of her rings smoke
In the windows, the mirrors
Are filling with smiles.
What is so real as the cry of a child?
A rabbit's cry may be wilder
But it has no soul.
Sugar can cure everything, so Kindness says.
Sugar is a necessary fluid,
It's crystals a little poultice.
O kindness, kindness
Sweetly picking up pieces!
My Japanese silks, desperate butterflies,
May be pinned any minute, anesthetized.
And here you come, with a cup of tea
Wreathed in steam.
The blood jet is poetry,
There is no stopping it.
You hand me two children, two roses.
Emily Dickinson's idea of being kind is too sweet for my tastes:
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
Naomi Shihab Nye comes closest to my meaning. In an interview, she describes how this poem came to be. She was on her honeymoon, on a bus, and she and her husband were robbed of everything including their passports and money. A man on the bus was killed. The newly-weds sat in a small town despairing of their loss, and the loss of a life, not knowing what to do when a stranger approached and asked what was wrong (in Spanish). He listened with kindness and, at the end, said he was sorry, very very sorry and then went on his way. His kindness soothed them. Shortly after, Nye's husband left to go to the next town to try and get their traveller's cheques reinstated. She sat there a little afraid when this poem drifted across the square to her. She took the small notebook and pencil from her pocket and took dictation.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore…
As I sit at my desk, the 4th of February, I wonder if I have embraced courage and kindness in January. Let me think on this a while.