LEAVING

This time in Montmiral - two weeks today - has been much to quick but I have done what I came to do and happy about that - if it weren't for these damn butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes I think I am to much of a coward for this world. I take everything to heart. I found it difficult to complain to the builder about the small imperfections because he has done so much more than we expected and the house truly is magnificent. And he also did thoughtful things - like set up the beds so we would have a place to sleep when we arrived... And he is proud of his work. How can I squash him with complaints or so my reasoning goes?

And our house in Canada... why haven't we had at least one offer? Oh there are a hundred reasonable answers but I don't want reason, I want someone to love it and pay our price. Rob told me this weekend that he will bury a statue of Saint Joseph in the backyard. This will insure that our house sells. (What happened to my sensible man? It is strange that he is embracing superstition.)

And I'm feeling a little bad - oh I just stood and looked out on the terrace - two pigeons are kissing each other on the next roof - I'm feeling a little bad about love - not keeping up with my correspondence - because there are friends out there who I love and who I haven't written. And I know that actions speak louder than words.

I know I worry too much... my thoughts are drifting here. I recall a coincidence - a news letter I received from "Carrie and Danielle" on Friday. (That's another story.) And in it, they spoke of butterflies. I shall quote them:

"Embrace the jitters. Butterflies are a sign that you’re alive and expanding. If you’re not feeling the flutters it’s just not that important to you.

Every time you feel the adrenaline whirl, imagine that you have wings and breathe that rush into your spreading wingspan. Think of it this way: your nerves are reminding you that you have what it takes"

I like their positive spin. Oh if life could only be that easy.

Anyway, must pack and do the hundred little things that must be done before I leave.

A Little Aside

Yes, I'm in France. Yes, I will write Part 111 of my last 2 1/2 weeks that soon stretches to three, but I just spoke to Rob...

He tells me that the birds of paradise still survive from my birthday bouquet he gave me (that I failed to mention.) Nor did I mention the bottle of Mexican brandy he gave me that I requested. We have been so careful with money the last few months that the little extravagant extras - like a snifter of brandy in the evening - like a spray of exquisite French perfume - like beautiful bouquets of flowers - were put on hold. Thus these gifts on my birthday were extra special.

I'm finding myself a little lonely these days. This is strange because I like being alone, setting my own pace, listening only to myself...

KATE SENT AN EMAIL,

reminding me that I had not blogged for 2 1/2 weeks, shaking me out of my lethargy and misery - I am heavy with a cold. So much has been happening that I decided to tell with pictures. Part 11 will be added hopefully sometime today.